What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Comedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man didn't walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

thumb_up thumb_down +19

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops