ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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What do u call a black rapper who only raps about sex and money? lil wayne

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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