A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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