What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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