A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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raping black women

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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How old are you? 20

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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