Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

A seal walks into a club.

why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

a man walks into horse bar

You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

What does A duck smoke? Quack

SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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