Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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Comedy.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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