Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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5

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Women's rights.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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A women president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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