Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

im not as random as you think I- Potato

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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