What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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69

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1 + 1 = 3

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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i can't stand cripple jokes

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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