What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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