Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Dani barton= lovely

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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