Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

bum sex lol

A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

Men, get on the boat.

Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

Stephen Hawking raped your mom

Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

obama

Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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