knock knock whose there? my penis.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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24

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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