Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +14

women outside of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Penis penis poop butt

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops