What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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Snausages.

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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24!

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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I'm banging your sister.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops