Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I saw a shovel once.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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