So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

Snausages.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

24!

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

I'm banging your sister.

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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