How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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wood cant chuck wood

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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