I WILL DESTROY ISIS

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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1 + 1 = 3

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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What did the clock say? The time.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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