What just hit my face? The floor

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Weiner

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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What did one llama say to the other llama when they were on vacation? I filled our luggage with orphan meat because i'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do.

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Hi.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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