I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This site is easy to upload to...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Society has given up on chairs that spin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops