wanna here a joke??? read below...

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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The Pope

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Land Rovers

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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