Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

No. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Not Steve Jobs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops