Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Anti-joke.com

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i'm not gay

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Darude - Sandstorm

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a

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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