whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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This is an anti-joke.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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since when?

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops