What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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