How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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1 + 1 = 3

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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Women have the right to vote.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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Seth stock has a large penis

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops