How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Weiner

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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