If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Obama

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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