guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

PENIS

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

The Bible

911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

A Irish man walks our of a bar

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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