Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Women's sports.

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Penis penis poop butt

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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