How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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weiner? balls

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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