what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats your name? bumder:)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

wanna hear a joke: women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops