What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

vbh

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

Why? Because!

What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

How did the priest die? Masterbation

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

...NO.

Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

I have a crush on my dad.

I have two hands. Some people dont.

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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