Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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No. Yes.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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