- Anti Joke

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! opens door Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! opens door Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

Roses are red, Violets are purple

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

Roses are red, Violets are purple

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! opens door Oh.... It was a woodpecker...