A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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