I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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rose are red violets should be purple

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops