What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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Pickles

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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