What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...