A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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democracy

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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0 + 0 = 0

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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Japan called... They need help.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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q

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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