A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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Penis penis poop butt

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Cold camel scrotum.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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