How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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A ginger was with his friends

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Proof reading

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops