What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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what time is it? 3:16

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penis

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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1+1 =? Too

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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