What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

What swims in the ocean? Fish

a man walks into horse bar

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

42.

What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

where are you?

What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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