a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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womens rights

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops