knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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0 + 0 = 0

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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Japan called... They need help.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops