What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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monkey sponge

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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how do kill a black guy? shoot him in the face

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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