How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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I'm banging your sister.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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