I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +38

two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm banging your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops