knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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fruit salad?

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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