So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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What do you call a black man that has sex with women against their will? A rapist. The fact that he is black does not pertain to this situation.

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Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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