Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A blind man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

the cast of the jersey shore

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops